just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
