i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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