You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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