yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize