Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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