They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
