Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
