Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
