I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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