lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
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