I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
