i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
