i don't plan on having that self control this summer
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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