In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
