he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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