Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
