I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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