But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
