It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
