How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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