so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
