just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
