just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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