you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
