shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I enjoy the company of your penis
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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