I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
