ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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