You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
