we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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