Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
