My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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