some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize