I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
420 ftw
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
