I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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