So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize