I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
