Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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