Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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