last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
