K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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