Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize