Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
