Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
