Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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