At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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