I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
don't judge my taste in strippers
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
