Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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