What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
