We need to rekindle our bromance
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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