my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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