I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
