Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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