There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was born a porn star she said
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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