butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
