Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize