You can't motorboat a personality
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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