I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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