I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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