Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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