i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
