dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
