with your own penis?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize