Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
