awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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