Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
