Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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