Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
