I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
