so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize