so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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