I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
