I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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