I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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